So, what exactly IS Infiltrate? On an ex-ray it's a foreign body. Not so good news. An unbearably close family member has this in their lungs. Of course, right now, they know nothing but just that, that there is infiltrate. Just an x-ray has been done and no, it's not pneumonia. So the course of detective work by testings begins. So, after the x-ray is a Cat Scan and a stress test. When you look up this kind of stuff on the internet, it is not assuring. So you worry. When I worry, it's all the time about everything.
It's not bad enough that I have one relative fighting the big C with chemotherapy and radiation, now I've got another who has something......but even if it's not something detrimental, my brain says keep worrying! I stink at this. I'm impatient and will follow their detective work like you wouldn't believe.
So, with all this swarming in my head, like a ray of light, I remembered, "God Grant Me the Serenity to Accept the Things I cannot Change, Courage to Change the Thing I Can, and the Wisdom to Know the Difference." This little prayer has helped me in the past, and I feel the need to really lean on this again......
I think I tend to dream about tornadoes when I'm stressed. Last night was one of those dreams. I was back in my old house, where I grew up. I was there, Jacob was there, Duane and my Dad were there.......I always 'see' the tornado in the distance and have enough time to 'yell' to everyone to get down stairs. I am the last one down. Sometimes the tornado hits, other times I wake up before it happens, other times it doesn't hit. Last night it didn't hit, but came close.......Obvious this dream is trying to tell me something, I can't control a tornado and I can't control someone else's illness, I just have to pray for strength for friends and family and leave it in God's hands.
Wish this were a happier day.......
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