Long Time No Blog

I wish I could tell you that I'm having a wonderful time, but the strangest thing happened to me today. The world felt like it was standing on my shoulders and I couldn't hold it any longer and tears flew. I do not cry easily. At work I haven't been feeling myself, which was unfortunately reflected in missing obvious clues that I should have seen in my work. While most of the time I feel like I'm at the top of my game, today was not one of those days. I missed three things that I should have caught in a report. I'm so disappointed with myself.

To add to my drama, Sweet Pea has been having potty issues. Always feeling like she has to go, and there's a lot more details that I can't bore you with. I feel so bad for her and it's so frustrating to not know the answers. Yes, we've tried Maylox, fruit, prune juice, ugh.....Dr. appointment is set for this Friday. I can not have my girl going to the potty 20 times a day and going to Kindergarten.

Handsome is in full blown potty training! Both a "Yahoo!" and an "Oh No!" at the same time. He's growing so, so fast! He's also doing an awesome job! He's sweet and funny and so, so proud of himself that he's almost potty trained!

Husband and I, well, we're in the thick of parenting and home owning. I'd like to go back to the time when we did things with just each other, at least once in a while, and I will breach that subject soon. I just don't want to throw it at him when I know I'm recouping from a less than stellar day. Priorities......

In brighter news, we've started the residential upgrades for a potential future migration. It would be back to my home town. I would prefer to be there now, but patience is a virtue right? The list of items is huge and my list is quite different than Husbands. Recently, we, well mostly he, has painted the family room, him 3 walls and the ceiling, me, the fireplace wall. The family room also received new carpeting. Too much $$ was spent on the carpeting, but it does feel so nice and we're always in here, so we just as well have spent it where we spend most of our time. Husband replaced some trim on the garage door which was vandelized by bunnies and also replaced the side door. Excellent job! We both painted the front door (which needed 3 coats), and I painted the trim and the new door.

My want to get out of our town is so high, I'd leave in a heartbeat, but the reasoning kicks in thankfully and we'll stick to the plan. The plan includes painting the livingroom/dining room, perhaps new carpeting in the living/room dining room, stairway and hall, and updating the bathrooms upstairs. The "have to" list also includes replacing the sliding glass door and a set of windows in the family room. It's costly, but will be well worth it. I've been eyeing a nice place in my old home town, but it will never be for sale by the time we're ready to buy. I'm aiming for Feb., Husband is aiming for July....I think July is too, too far away. He's nuts.

I am feeling way better than this morning and after hearing the news on the radio, I do have much to be thankful for and need to realize that I'm sweating over the small stuff. Sweet Pea's quirk could be a phase. I'm human and I make mistakes and just need to pay attention some more. Must focus.

Anxiety filled times

Well, let's just say I am not the brightest crayon in the coloring box. That Miller Analogy test was killer. My brain certainly wasn't ready after being up with Handsome for half the night prior, but I did it. I can, and will likely take the test again. I am too embarrassed to give my score, so I'm not going to.

I did take the Basic Skills Test on Feb. 13th and they say it was about a four week turnaround to find out my results. That is a test I must pass. Then I have to take a content area test. I'm giving myself a break to see how I've did on the Basic Skills. The house is in disarray at the moment. Husband is deathly afraid the school will be cutting back on his hours which totals quite a bit of money per year. That smoking habit comes to mind to eliminate some of that cost, but just as I had gotten over being worried and having the attitude of we'll deal with it when we get there and he throws what if I don't' have a job, we need 6 months of savings in case one of us lose a job. Well, I didn't have the heart to tell him that would be about $24K (that's if we both lost our jobs at the same time mind you). We certainly do not have that available in savings. I even took into consideration the cost of COBRA insurance, and I even guessed at $1000 per month for the family. Just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. Like many others for sure.

I keep holding onto the thought if my grandparents and his grandparents made it through the Great Depression, then we do what we can to get through this! We've got some strong genes for sure!

The only good side is that we're a bit busier than normal at work, so I've got some extra cash, albeit a little, coming in. I had told Husband that he'd have to get a weekend job if they took his weekend building checks a day. Otherwise I would have to find a job somewhere, and he would have to provide the Daddy Daycare. He just thinks I need to get back on full time pay ASAP. He quickly forgets that the money I'd make on full time, would ALL be eaten by the cost of daycare......oh how quickly we forget.

Husband took Sweet Pea and Handsome out after a 'good packing snow' and made a perfect snowman. No joke, check out this perfection!

Husband gets a gold ribbon for that afternoon! After a long day at work (due to the snow), I had to get soem work done at the library. Husband woke up Handsome, got both kids dressed, and made this object of polar perfection in 60 minutes! Bravo! They all need their egos boosted, don't they! ::wink:: I definitely want to make sure he'll do that again! Although he did snap off some branches of my walking bush for the arms! Grrrrrr!

So we've begun the plans for Handsome's 3rd Birthday Party! OMG! 3! He's just growing so fast! He so into Spider Man. I guess he just thinks he looks totally cool, because prior to Christmas, we never even watched Spiderman (which is a little too old for him and scares Sweet Pea to watch,.....or was it Scooby Doo that scared her with the ghosts.....).

In that respect, he's such a boy! Diego, Spongebob (I know, we're a commercial for Nickelodeon and Disney), oh, and there is a new show that he loves, can't think of the name now, but the little boy is called Geo. Oh, Team Umizoomi. It's a cute show. I think the voice of the robot is the guy from Blues Clues, not Steve, the other one, Joe. Whatever makes 'em happy right?

We are in the abyss of winter with spring taunting us from afar.....not really, but it just feels like it. I can't wait to get outside and play! Winter boredom has definitely set in. I could be a good mom and check the net for things to do, but by the time I do that, then I have to go and buy crap to do a new project. Not interested.

Oh, I still have to find time to read for my two classes that I'm signed up for at BYU....anyone want to help out with that!??!

Busy Times

Yep, another busy post. why is it that when I need to procrastinate the least is when I settle in, hunker down and want to blog about it?!

I'm anxiously awaiting my scores for the Miller Analogies test I took a couple weeks ago. Either I relax, a bit, or I really have to move my a$$ and get my classes done. I have realized, of course only now that I'm old, that in order to retain information I've read, I have to have the room completely quiet. No kids talking, no background TV, nothing. Perhaps this 'study style' would've helped me in High School.....perhaps.....we'll see how well I do with these two courses. I have that Basic Skills test coming up, so I can always perform crappy on that and be two for two on my test-taking abilities!!

I'm think of new projects for my week off next month, only to realize, I have no money. I've got a lot of ways to spend money, but not enough money to spend. That's another complaint at a later date. I've been hit with another tax increase to boot this month, either I spread it out, or I pay it up now.....What are the politicians doing with my money anyways?!?!? I've had to take pay cuts and such, what's with that?! When will they?! I'm irritated by the whole thing. I think I've decided to be an independent voter. Vote for the best candidate. I will truly try to not be politically pulled in one direction, although it is quite hard not to.

Today, I had lunch with some co-workers and a woman who's husband is a lot like mine.....he's a co-worker who wasn't at lunch, but I so hope I'm not like her in another 5 years. It was comical, but she also seems to have quite a crabby husband at home. I kept thinking, OMG! This will be me in 5 years! It was a moment that was a good teaching tool. I really don't want that to be me and Husband.

However I also remembered I saw a show last week that depicted the first half of marriage as lying in bed(after the honeymoon phase of course) you look over and say "Good God, you're still here?!" The second half of the marriage you look over and say "Thank God you're still here".

Paid Time Off

This week I am taking off work, granted it's only 20 hours, but there's a big to-do list. Mostly it's in my head of what needs to be done and the first thing on the list was washing the basement closet because, well, a tiny bit of mold had grown in it from the result of the flooding of the basement incident that took place last year. Having washed it down with a bleach/water solution, I can tell it smells better. I think the water main in the closet was not helping the situation. A little too much moisture. All seems to be well now.

I have read a chapter of my sociology book and am on the second chapter of my history book. I finished the first assignment for sociology, although I have no idea if the professor even knows I'm a student. I keep signing in and it brings me to the first page all the time. I sign in at my folks and it brings me to where I left off.

I'm definitely learning a lot already. It's just if it sticks or not.

Handsome had his routine ultra-sound for his hydronephrosis yesterday. He was a champ! It was non-invasive, but he was just calm and relaxed and it went really well. I have to pick up the disk with the report and schedule an appointment with his pediatric urologist, so I hope to get that done today. He's diagnosed as mild to moderate, at the lower end of the spectrum I guess.

I also hope to set up a chiropractic appointment (I'm a firm believer) as I missed the one I was supposed to go to after Christmas and haven't rescheduled as of yet. I think that my stress definitely flows into my neck......the more stress I have, the more pain I get.

I'm writing this as both kids are down in the basement with me. Sometimes they say the funniest things I've ever heard. Handsome is just like Uncle Du, always trying to make you laugh. I'm finally breaking Sweet Pea out of the 'no teasing' phase. Ever so slowly, but she's coming along.

Saturday we had the unfortunate experience of replacing our furnace. Ugghhhh. The people were nice, it was replaced within 12 hours of making the call....it's just that the money that was spent we had better plans for. Husband wanted a driveway and I wanted a new sliding glass door. He told me that he was sorry I wasn't going to get a new door. I told him he's sorry he must be mistaken. I insist on looking outside and seeing my backyard instead of seeing the 'fog' between the glass created by a broken seal. I am adamant about getting that thing replaced. It's embarrassing and only adds the white trash look.

Have I mentioned that I need someone to come in and help me decorate this house?! I've got a million plans, worth a million dollars, on a nickel and dime budget. I'll have to send my woes to all the decorating shows to see if anyone will bite. So I will appease my decorating angst by painting the basement closet. One item will be off my list......

I love being off with the kids, yesterday was a holiday and today, Sweet Pea doesn't have school. Four days in a row of no school, this is heaven. Speaking of school, once again, I've been told I don't want to be a teacher, by a teacher. How is it that teachers turn so crabby?! I don't have sympathy for them at all. They've got it good. Having probably not worked elsewhere, they don't get that it's always (almost always) something at work places: management, co-workers, owners, customers. It's how you view it and what you do about it......

Miller's Analogies

It took me two days to tell Husband that he must've married me for my beauty! It certainly wasn't for money, nor was it for brains. This was confirmed via taking that Miller's Analogies test this past Sat. I'm am not out, boy boy am I down from taking that thing. I was smiling at the end of taking it, because it is what it is.......I hope to find out how bad I did in a couple weeks, they say in 4-6 weeks you'll receive your score, but the person providing the test said sometimes it's as early as 2-3. Great, I'll know I'm an idiot even sooner.

Some may think I'm being hard on myself, but really, you don't know me. When I took the ACT in High School and got a terrible score, my Mom said "You can take it again honey". So I did. I took it again, I got the EXACT SAME SCORE. I'm writing it off as being a horrible test taker, I will not accept that I'm just that stupid.

Yesterday I started my Sociology Class on line. The first page of Lesson 1 told me to read Chapter One of my text book. So, I did. I like what I read, I stink at retaining it.

I somehow have to shake off this negativity, otherwise I firmly believe you are what you preach........So, I'm smart, I'm beautiful and gosh darn it, people like me!

Estimated Start Date

What's that, have I started my classes since I've received my books? Is there an estimated start date. Well, that's tough. I could start the class on-line right now, but I think I'll be hindered by a 5 year old who probably doesn't need to rest any more, at least most of the time, but I guess I'm still hopeful or dreaming.

I've accomplished acquiring a 3-ring binder for my book, it looks fabulous, and purchased ink for my printer. I'm not trying to make excuses, it's cold in the basement today. Have I mentioned I hate the computer down here? I need it upstairs and I need it now. I'd love a lap top. That'd be so cool.

Tomorrow I take the Miller Analogies test that is required for acceptance into the MAT Program I'm applying for......I printed a study guide, which I reviewed a portion of a couple weeks ago and it seems to be a test that deals with comparisons of some sort. One of those, 'should be a no brainer' but I'll stink at it. So, I'm not so into jumping into starting my courses tonight until I take this thing tomorrow. So, that's where I'll be at 10am for an hour or so. All the previous 'bs' I just spewed is to inform you that my brain is preoccupied with taking this test. So I guess my official 'start' date is tomorrow. I promise, today won't be wasted. I'll review the study guide.

Did I mention that Husband finally asked how much this is going to cost. I told him around $15K (that includes free baby sitting from my folks). He was shocked. ::rolling eyes:: Guess he though it was going to be for free. He's soooooo, supportive.

Reading is not for dummies!

"My new school books are here! My new school books are here!" ::ridiculously jumping up and down as I type this:: That's my best impression of Steve Martin from "The Jerk". The books were delivered during the lull in a snow storm! UPS is awesome! I'm down with brown!

Sociology, by John Macionis
and
Firsthand America, by Burner, Bernhard & Kutler

The history book is a re-print, with no sell back value....::shrug:: what'ya'gonna'do? I Need a 3-ring binder......there's got to be one somewhere around here.

I arrived home early today because Husband was so sure the traffic would totally blow with the snow. It's snowed about 4 inches last night and into the morning. There's been a break in the snow and the sun even tried to break through. Sa-weeet! It's supposed to wrap around and hit us again over night.....we'll see about that. Who knows if they'll cancel pre-school. If they didn't today, they might not tomorrow. Husband also works at a school and he said they do everything in their power NOT to close the school because of the extra money it'll cost.....guess we'll see.

I remember several instances where they closed school when I was young. Once, I had to walk home more than 1/2 way (which seemed to take forever) because the school bus could not make it up the hill. We lived near the Des Plaines River and Chicago Sanitary Ship Canal. It's about the hilliest location in northeastern Illinois. Surrounded by flatland, the town was a quaint break in the mundane. It's the final destination in which I hope to plant my family for good. The sooner the better. I'm only one town, but worlds, away. I could've slapped Husband when he said we should've moved there instead of where we are now. That was my suggestion 9 years ago....... Back then, he was afraid we'd be too close to my folks. My folks help out so much and enjoy being with the kids, that looking back now, it was a no-brainer. His hind-sight is my "I told you so".....don't get me started.

I'm tempted to start reading, but I have a feeling Sweet Pea will be down here.....again....for the 5th time....I know she's 5, but she still needs a rest now and then.

Yep, I'm trying again.

So, the jogging thing worked really great, until the cold weather set in. I'm not happy about it, nor is the dog. I got to week 8 or 9 of 11 and definitely plan to start again, I'm looking at March 1st. Guess I'll have to figure out some other kind of working out regime until then, cause sitting on my butt is unacceptable. I'm still 9 pounds down, but have 5 to go. Sometimes it's 7, sometimes 5, it fluctuates. Being a girl is so......progesteronated....if I may create a word.

This past November I applied to a school to receive my Master of Arts in Teaching and to obtain a Secondary Education Teaching Certificate. It is a mouthful, isn't it?

My transcripts were reviewed and I am down two courses; History and Sociology. In order to buck up my historical chats with Husband, I decided to take History 221, which is US History from 1776 to present time. I figured I've lived the last, almost 40 years, so it'd be 'easy'. Well, nothing is ever easy, but I'm hopeful. I'm a horrible test taker. The second class Sociology I hope to learn a few things about myself and the world around me. I'm a pretty open individual, but I'm just wondering if that will count against me as I'll be taking these two courses at a heavily based Christian College. I could be wrong, we'll see what they think of this city, o'kay Chicago suburbanite, has to say.

I'm nervous about the whole process really, I've got a Miller Analogies test this Sat, a Basic Skills Test on Feb. 13th, and need to start my two on-line courses as soon as I receive the text books which should be arriving this Thurs. or Friday. The sooner the better. Although the worst part will be figuing out how to set up exams at local colleges. I'm throwing some pessimism into that, so again, I hope I'm wrong. Let me repeat, I'm a terrible test taker.....I get pretty bad stress headaches after taking tests, no matter the type of test.

So if all goes well, and I dont' know why I'm so skeptical, probably from living with Husband so long, I should start the program on April 5th. Then it's 10 weeks, two nights a week in the Spring, summer break, 10 weeks, two nights a week in the fall and six weeks of student teaching in the Winter of 2011. Of couse, lets ont forget there's some student teaching I'll be doing during both 10 week sessions.

My folks suggested this, that they are here for me if I wanted to try this. So, here I am. Excited and apprehensive at the same time.