Anxiety filled times

Well, let's just say I am not the brightest crayon in the coloring box. That Miller Analogy test was killer. My brain certainly wasn't ready after being up with Handsome for half the night prior, but I did it. I can, and will likely take the test again. I am too embarrassed to give my score, so I'm not going to.

I did take the Basic Skills Test on Feb. 13th and they say it was about a four week turnaround to find out my results. That is a test I must pass. Then I have to take a content area test. I'm giving myself a break to see how I've did on the Basic Skills. The house is in disarray at the moment. Husband is deathly afraid the school will be cutting back on his hours which totals quite a bit of money per year. That smoking habit comes to mind to eliminate some of that cost, but just as I had gotten over being worried and having the attitude of we'll deal with it when we get there and he throws what if I don't' have a job, we need 6 months of savings in case one of us lose a job. Well, I didn't have the heart to tell him that would be about $24K (that's if we both lost our jobs at the same time mind you). We certainly do not have that available in savings. I even took into consideration the cost of COBRA insurance, and I even guessed at $1000 per month for the family. Just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. Like many others for sure.

I keep holding onto the thought if my grandparents and his grandparents made it through the Great Depression, then we do what we can to get through this! We've got some strong genes for sure!

The only good side is that we're a bit busier than normal at work, so I've got some extra cash, albeit a little, coming in. I had told Husband that he'd have to get a weekend job if they took his weekend building checks a day. Otherwise I would have to find a job somewhere, and he would have to provide the Daddy Daycare. He just thinks I need to get back on full time pay ASAP. He quickly forgets that the money I'd make on full time, would ALL be eaten by the cost of daycare......oh how quickly we forget.

Husband took Sweet Pea and Handsome out after a 'good packing snow' and made a perfect snowman. No joke, check out this perfection!

Husband gets a gold ribbon for that afternoon! After a long day at work (due to the snow), I had to get soem work done at the library. Husband woke up Handsome, got both kids dressed, and made this object of polar perfection in 60 minutes! Bravo! They all need their egos boosted, don't they! ::wink:: I definitely want to make sure he'll do that again! Although he did snap off some branches of my walking bush for the arms! Grrrrrr!

So we've begun the plans for Handsome's 3rd Birthday Party! OMG! 3! He's just growing so fast! He so into Spider Man. I guess he just thinks he looks totally cool, because prior to Christmas, we never even watched Spiderman (which is a little too old for him and scares Sweet Pea to watch,.....or was it Scooby Doo that scared her with the ghosts.....).

In that respect, he's such a boy! Diego, Spongebob (I know, we're a commercial for Nickelodeon and Disney), oh, and there is a new show that he loves, can't think of the name now, but the little boy is called Geo. Oh, Team Umizoomi. It's a cute show. I think the voice of the robot is the guy from Blues Clues, not Steve, the other one, Joe. Whatever makes 'em happy right?

We are in the abyss of winter with spring taunting us from afar.....not really, but it just feels like it. I can't wait to get outside and play! Winter boredom has definitely set in. I could be a good mom and check the net for things to do, but by the time I do that, then I have to go and buy crap to do a new project. Not interested.

Oh, I still have to find time to read for my two classes that I'm signed up for at BYU....anyone want to help out with that!??!

I'm Not grateful

I'm not grateful I have a cold. I am not grateful my daughter doesn't want to take naps any more. I am not grateful I haven't won that dang lotto! Germs have infested my home and made it to my throat......I could say 'how did that happen?!??!" But ya know, somewhere in between my son sticking his fingers in my mouth and attempting his version of a kiss (an open-mouthed french kiss....ya know, one you'd see on SNL?) I've been awarded the 'Spring Cold'. It's lovely, no really! A sort of runny nose, a scratchy throat, some sad excuse of a hoarse cough, general tiredness that would go a way with a nap, but since Baby Girl doesn't take one for me any more(revolts really)......I can't! WhaaahhhH! Let's remember, this is my very own biatch blog isn't it?!?!

So today, I am on a mission to get our expenses back from the day care and medical account at Husband's work. It's great. It takes out $ from his check, pre-tax. BUT you have to get the amount right when you first sign up for the rest of the year (unless there's a job change in the family). When I went to part time, we changed it for day care, but not for medical. So I've got about $600 for dependant care waiting for me and more than double that medically.......Now, I really don't know if we're going to use the med. but I will if I have to! Husband has an 'over 40 year old man' ::smirk::appointment coming up, we both need to get to the dentist and I'd love to have my vericose veins looked at.....ya know those old lady things? Not only do they look horrid, the feel horrid and with every weather change and even when the weather doesn't change, they are painful.......Big thanks to my father's side of the family for those!!

I guess this means I'm on a journey to find a good dentist. Now, I loved the last guy I went to, but that was before kids (i think)......please don't do the math, I know......it will get it done this year. I promise.

Tomorrow I go to work.....work, that thing is hounding me like, well, like a hound dog! With my Mom breaking her hip and all, I've sort of re-thunk this part-time thing. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE WORKING PART TIME. Would love to work no-time! ::wink:: Ever since my Mom has watched first Baby Girl (3 days a week for 2.5 years) and both kids (one day a week for six months and two days a week for 3 months) she's been physically incapacitated more than I've seen her the previous 30+ years! Two foot surgeries, torn cornea (twice), bruised ribs, and lets not forget her broken hip......that's a lot in 3 years, isn't it? Do my kids have some bad 'voodoo vibes'? Well, here's my theory. I want to be with the kids as much as possible until they go to school, so, I guess I'll take what I can get. (of course there's always my million dollar idea). Meaning, if I can still work part time and she can watch the kids par time, then that's what it'll be. If I have to go full-time, we'll figure it out. I've told Mom that if she can't do it, that it's fine and we'll place the kids in day care. I don't want to burden Mom and I know she wants to do it. But she wants to do everything, and you can't do everything.....Don't tell Husband I said that...... I guess it's something that's been on my mind lately so I think now that I've got it in my head, it'll be an easier change-over for me if we do need to change things around to cover two full-time parents.

I'm tired and it's only 3:00 pm..........

Oh, I'm grateful for my children, even the one who asks so many questions, it's hard to make sense of anything!